by Dionissios Kollias
or my hero’s journey. I blamed them for the disturbance on the big blue ocean,
the grayed-out sky that created a depressive episode.
I enjoyed rocking back and forth to feel the spring of the carpeted staircase underfoot,
like pushing a loose tooth back and forth in my mouth.
The directions were clear: you are not to come here as yourself.
I have remained quiet and have placed a wool blanket on my face. I am lost
and remain so.
I don’t want to hear the nice things. Or stand on top of the lighthouse
shouting “danger”. Come close.
In town, the home’s wooden shingles looked like wet suede after the storm passed.
Far off, American coastal
somewhere I don’t belong.
I come from farmers—the long sleeves to protect from the sun.
Yet, the closest I’ve got is a 4-foot-tall rubber plant in my living room,
aging computer skills & packets of corporate welcome kits.
Do you want me? It took me three days to decide where to place the mirror
and I’m still unhappy about it. Did you see me last night?
I won’t love.
The moon here is the scientific timekeeper.
The steel guitar took us into a nocturnal fantasy,
the steady pause due to capacity. I’ll be there.
It’s all comedy, simple entertainment.
I waved to the actor on stage at the end of the performance.
Baby, I care.
This is psychic death.
I touched all the chairs arranged in the room. I pictured myself sitting on each one.
Here, next to the window I’ll read a book. On this chair, I’ll daydream.
This one, this one is for foreplay—
dark humor. Something beautiful like a painting.
Let’s talk shit about one another for fun.
I changed my name.
Waited for an obsession.
Psyche features key pieces of my identity: my connection to Greece and to a past, being an LGBTQIA immigrant, the beauty and sadness of daily life. The poem incorporates the theme of hunger through yearning - desire. Hungry for recognition, hungry for something calm.
- Dionissios Kollias
About the Poet:
Dionissios Kollias's work has appeared in No Dear Magazine, Pinwheel, Raleigh Review and elsewhere. He lives in New York.