by Kayla Martell Feldman
that can fuck off
This question has made me existential
by the sea
with a dog
and some wine
retired and wealthy
making lots of money
somewhere fabulous
a doting granny
probably on the verge of the same burnt out
breakdown I’ve been on most of my twenties
On the beach with a beer and my bearded
bae having sent our babies on their merry
way!
Alive!
Traveling,
happy
In a mirror.
Old.
Unemployable,
in desperate need of a dentist
cursing Harvard.
I’d be surprised if I were still living
but hopefully
helping out.
gardening,
crafting,
maybe some livestock,
some partners,
maybe some foster kids,
probably caring for my disabled sister.
land in the forest
or by the coast
living in my tiny home
with many animals
in a larger place
overseeing a hospital,
possibly in a Scandinavian country.
enjoying time with family and friends,
especially grandchildren!
Where I am now,
but with more skills and paid better.
Pretty much exactly as I am right now except
in my 50s
and therefore fighting for
relevancy/acceptance in my own field.
Shit, man.
Exactly the same
but with several dogs and terrible arthritis
with a drivers license and a car
with a partner
maybe a dog
working in disaster relief
Absolutely no clue
seconded
thirded
Alive for starters!
Bushey
Central Park
Florida.
(Switzerland somewhere)
(or Colorado???)
ideally outside of London.
Worm food
drunk
Caught
Hopefully happy
With a dog by my side
Man plans.
God laughs.
I don’t like to think that far in advance tbh
I don’t really like thinking in advance at
all I don’t have a plan
Looking down from the Gods
writing novels in the clouds
in case anyone sees them
and takes a blind bit of notice
to an old
happy
ghost.
About the author:
Kayla (she/they) is a founding member of Sovereign Writers Group and co-hosts Process, a monthly spoken word night. She’s had work published by Fifth Wheel Press, Popshot Quarterly, Derailleur Press, Moonlove, and 9VT\5, and been featured on the Artists That Work and Dead Darlings podcasts. Last year she published her debut poetry collection, TIKVA.